July 4th...family BBQ at Natalie's parents house...large family...lot's of conversation. Most of us are in our late 20's building families and careers...comparing notes.
At the time, I had a retail selling job with a boss that had a third degree black belt...
He didn't know karate...but he knew Ka-razy (that's "crazy" for the non-James Brown aficionados - the Big Payback...one of my favorites!)
"Yes, my current boss is impossible. He makes it difficult for our store to be a success," I finished with decorum and diplomacy for the circle of listeners. My younger son, who might have been 6 years old at the time jumped in...
"You said he didn't know his head from his...(mother's hand over the mouth was just in time!)
Hey, what happened to being seen and not heard! Sweat now pouring from my brow. Everyone knew I said it...and yes...I did...but in the sanctity of our home, in a private conversation with Natalie as the kids played video games...or so I thought.
"What made you repeat that?" I asked on the way home.
Silence - now he has comedic timing!
My older son spoke up and said, "We don't like the way he treats you and you should beat him up and show him who is boss."
Yes, if only video game justice prevailed in real life. I realized that the kids had begun to hate my job on my behalf. So did Natalie...except she had the maturity of understanding the paradoxical balance between me walking off...and walking away.
I also realized that I had not given them a full rounded view of what I did for a living - I actually loved that job. I was a manager of a very busy men's store selling upscale suits to business clientele and I got a 40% discount!
Your spouse (or kids for that matter) has no way of knowing if you are really stressed out...or energized until you share the final component of our M.V.P Award;.
The Pressure
I had shared the pressure, but not in a way that was enabling...only debilitating.
Did you know pressure, or stress comes in two varieties?
Eustress and Distress.
We all know what Distress is, but what about Eustress? It is Greek for
"Stress that is deemed healthful or giving one the feeling of fulfillment."
I am connected to an industry that markets Medicare Advantage products to eligible beneficiaries - mainly seniors. Each year, we have an Open Enrollment. It is a time of chaos and frenetic activity as millions of beneficiaries and 1,000's of agents scramble to do all that is necessary to help them make a decision and to be successful.
The #1 thing I hear during this time...
"The AEP stresses me out!"
The #2 thing I hear (yes, from the same agent just moments later when tasked)
"Oh, I love the AEP!"
They love the action, the pace, the opportunity. Yes, some of the requirements are arduous and repetitive...but necessary. Your spouse has no way of knowing if you are really stressed out...or energized...
Until you share The Pressure.
Both kinds. Be real about what is disagreeable, but also balance it with the good parts. When a room of agents get together in these environments, we understand one another...we feel each other because we can relate. Semantics are part of the right of passage...to complain about something we love.
Give your spouse the tools they need to relate to your job. The pressures great and small, the difficulties that you overcome because of your gifts and talents. The distress and the eustress. Sales is not easy but you are gifted to handle it...
They should have a deep sense that you are in your element...that your contents are not under pressure!
Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!
Next Time: The Power of Agreement!
|
No comments:
Post a Comment