Can You Keep A Secret?

What is our obsession with the word "Secret"?

 

The Secret to a 7-Figure Income...attention getting...right?

 

"I will let you in on a secret"...that gets them listening E.F Hutton style.  Whether it's of the little or big variety...matters not!

 

The Secret - I have to admit...it's on my bookshelf!

 

"Secret...strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"...yes, I have used Natalie's in a pinch and they are right!

 

Put the word "secret" in anything and the allure increases.  It creates a mystique of something special, that only a few could know.  I have had publishers and book consultants tell me to use it in my titles, or at least in my synopsis.

 

I refused.

 

Why?

 

I think you deserve better.  I don't think I know something you don't know.  Yes, I have condensed several lifetimes in my 49 years (just gave that secret away!) and have had experiences you may not have.  Yes, I have the gift of assembling words in a way that conveys rich ideas, heartfelt emotions and action-inspiring syntax...my genius was never a secret!

 

Someone once asked me, "What is the "secret" of life?"

 

"No secret...enjoy it...it's going to happen to you anyway!"

 

The natural follow up, "What is the "secret" to your success?"

 

"Live it on purpose and with passion".  One line answers to complex questions are always difficult (little wonder politicians plead The Fifth!) no matter how cute they may sound. 

  

If you have learned anything about me, you know I believe in going deeper...

 

If you wanted to sell more of a product what could you do?

 

You could lower the price,

or

you could make it invaluable... then price wouldn't be an issue!

 

Don't lower your life to a level of mediocrity, complacency or conformity to those around you!  

 

Be the best you possible.  Raise your game to a level that you reach "rarefied air"...where the law of contrast makes you stand out from the 1,000's of sales professionals who aren't willing to work on their most important product...

 

Themselves.

 

Life is complex and to achieve the things you want in this life requires you understand "The Secret" is not really a secret at all.  The real challenge for most of us (me too on occasion) is that the answer is within us...the last place most of us are willing to look. 

  

For a few weeks, I am going to help you go deeper into who you are, what you are capable of and give you tools to release your greatest potential...

 

Want more sales?

 

Want to have more success than you ever thought possible?

 

Then take The Journey with me...

 

I will show you how it's done...on one condition...

 

Can you keep a secret?

  

Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!

Next Time: The Journey Series

Two for One!

"Omnes pro uno, unus pro omnibus."

 

Latin for "All for one...one for all" ...impressed? (you should be...I can Google with the best of them!)

 

Do you know how hard agreement really is?  Get 5 colleagues together and ask the simplest question...

 

"Where does everyone want to go for lunch?"

 

High powered exectutives that just made billion dollar decisions take 15 minutes to come to agreement...thankfully, in marriage...it only "takes two to make a thing go right" but The Power of Agreement is easier said than done in marriage, too...(don't agree with me...they may be reading over your shoulder!)

 

I once heard someone say, "It doesn't matter how many people agree with you as long as the right person does". There is a supreme power of true agreement.

 

Genesis 11:6 says that

 

"Where people are one (in unison) that nothing they have

imagined to do can be withheld from them."

 

Agreement requires you to communicate openly, to plan strategically, and appreciate the mutual support frequently...yes, that's gratitude - in good times and bad!  We need our spouses to understand to be in a position "to stand" with us.

 

Natalie and I have have been happily (ecstatically!) married 27 years and the level of success we have enjoyed the last 13 years makes it look like a carefree "charmed" life. Nothing could be further from the truth. We have had to fight for every victory and I can now say in hindsight, that I would not change a thing!

 

As I met my wife when we were 14 and I knew right away she was the one. She was beautiful (still is), sweet, quiet and unassuming back then...but make no mistake... my wife is a WARRIOR!!!

 

I bet your spouse is too...given the opportunity to prove it!

 

In the 3rd year of marriage after we lost our first house, we sat down and wrote out three core agreements. I believe in them, and think that if you cater them to your house and live and die by them, you can build the Power of Agreement. 

 

Here are our agreements:

 

#1 - I agree not to use threats and ultimatums when things aren't going the way I want them to.

 

Fine print: This includes using money or intimacy as "weapons" (grown folks know what I mean!)

 

#2 - I agree that we won't expose each other's weaknesses and our challenges to others - yes, including family!

 

Fine Print: Keep your business off of Facebook please!

 

#3 - I agree to fight - not each other. We will fight the circumstances that we are facing and continue fighting as a team...until we win!

 

Fine Print: When you win...then expose your testimony to bless and encourage others...

 

that is what I am trying to do here!

 

During our highest points of struggle, my wife and I remained "quiet".  Afterward, I would tell people we were not being secretive...we were being sacred.

 

I know that for some, the last week of Daily Sales Crumbs may have seemed obscure  and I hope you never need the advice given. But some of you needed this and should go home tonight and show this to your spouse, I would bet that some version of this is what your spouse has been longing to hear.

 

The Power of Agreement multiplies effort, authority, and helps you stay focused on the battle in the field and not create friendly fire at home. I know that once you engage the Power of Agreement things will get better...quickly!

 

When people see you and your spouse, they should see...

 

Two for One!

 

Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!

Next Time: The Journey

The Power of Agreement!

"Let me grab your briefcase," my youngest son Christian offered.

 

"I've got his paperwork," said Chaz, my oldest son.

 

"Looks like you had a great day," Natalie said holding a six month old Faith, our daughter.

 

"Yes, I sold 8 today!" I said triumphantly.

 

"I will update the board," one of the boys shouted and ran off to get the hand-written poster board with numbers all over it.

 

It was 1996.  Just under a decade after we had gotten married.  There had been some good times...and some really rough ones financially.

 

I had just gotten a job as a Medicare Risk agent (a decade before Medicare Advantage!) with a Fortune 50 company.  Finally, preparation had met opportunity.  Every instinct in me told me that this was for real...we needed it to be.

 

I had just transitioned from a claims position within the company.  A good position with benefits for a growing family but the income was limited.  I had tried several sales jobs during that decade but calamity and necessity mandated I find a "secure job".

 

Before I took the job, I called a family meeting.  We had a lot of those and always included the kids...especially after the BBQ debacle!  I outlined the opportunity in such a way that they could all understand...sharing the M.V.P Award.

 

During the Vision stage, I told them that each client I enrolled would pay me an additional $50 per person and that if I hit 100 in a month, it would double to $100 per enrollment (hey, Medicare folks...it is 1996!)  I then did the most powerful thing I could have ever done;

 

I tied them to the goal...

 

I told them that everyone could have "Christmas in July" if I sold 100.

 

They all jumped for joy, running and dancing.  The scene in my mind brings back the joy...and tears...

 

They created a Jerry Lewis style telethon tote board...pictures of what they wanted pasted all around the bulb at the bottom and fireworks at the top with a big "100".

 

It was the Power of Agreement.

 

They had a stake in my success.  They took genuine interest.  I told them stories of the lovely people I met each day.  The job came to life for all of us.  Natalie did my paperwork (I hate it!), the boys helped me with thank you notes (which later became a summer business they started for over 50 agents - Lick'em and Stick'em - I raised entrepreneurs!)

 

The Power of Agreement is what Napoleon Hill calls in "Think and Grow Rich" a Mastermind Alliance.

  

"The coordination of knowledge and effort of two or more people, who work toward a definite purpose, in the spirit of harmony.  No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind [the master mind]."

 

Each day, I woke up with a fresh sense of opportunity, and when I crossed the threshold coming home (sometimes very late), I was celebrated...not tolerated. 

 

As you may have guessed, I wrote 110 applications and everyone got their prize.  In 1996, I entered the 100k Club - which had seemed out of reach for so long.  Largely from the Power of Agreement that was forged from the bottom to the top...excluding no one's voice.

 

We didn't do that every month but the support never stopped.  The celebrations continued...but most importantly,

 

The Power of Agreement still lives in our household 18 years later!

 

Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!

Next Time: Two For One

Contents Under Pressure!

July 4th...family BBQ at Natalie's parents house...large family...lot's of conversation.  Most of us are in our late 20's building families and careers...comparing notes.

 

At the time, I had a retail selling job with a boss that had a third degree black belt...

 

He didn't know karate...but he knew Ka-razy (that's "crazy" for the non-James Brown aficionados - the Big Payback...one of my favorites!)

 

"Yes, my current boss is impossible.  He makes it difficult for our store to be a success," I finished with decorum and diplomacy for the circle of listeners.  My younger son, who might have been 6 years old at the time jumped in...

 

"You said he didn't know his head from his...(mother's hand over the mouth was just in time!)

 

Hey, what happened to being seen and not heard!  Sweat now pouring from my brow.  Everyone knew I said it...and yes...I did...but in the sanctity of our home, in a private conversation with Natalie as the kids played video games...or so I thought.

 

"What made you repeat that?" I asked on the way home.

 

Silence - now he has comedic timing!

 

My older son spoke up and said, "We don't like the way he treats you and you should beat him up and show him who is boss."

 

Yes, if only video game justice prevailed in real life.  I realized that the kids had begun to hate my job on my behalf.  So did Natalie...except she had the maturity of understanding the paradoxical balance between me walking off...and walking away. 

 

I also realized that I had not given them a full rounded view of what I did for a living - I actually loved that job.  I was a manager of a very busy men's store selling upscale suits to business clientele and I got a 40% discount!

  

Your spouse (or kids for that matter) has no way of knowing if you are really stressed out...or energized until you share the final component of our M.V.P Award;.

 

The Pressure

  

I had shared the pressure, but not in a way that was enabling...only debilitating.

 

Did you know pressure, or stress comes in two varieties?

 

Eustress and Distress.

 

We all know what Distress is, but what about Eustress?  It is Greek for

  

"Stress that is deemed healthful or giving one the feeling of fulfillment."

  

I am connected to an industry that markets Medicare Advantage products to eligible beneficiaries - mainly seniors.  Each year, we have an Open Enrollment.  It is a time of chaos and frenetic activity as millions of beneficiaries and 1,000's of agents scramble to do all that is necessary to help them make a decision and to be successful. 

 

The #1 thing I hear during this time...

 

"The AEP stresses me out!"

 

The #2 thing I hear (yes, from the same agent just moments later when tasked)

 

"Oh, I love the AEP!" 

 

They love the action, the pace, the opportunity.  Yes, some of the requirements are arduous and repetitive...but necessary.  Your spouse has no way of knowing if you are really stressed out...or energized...

 

Until you share The Pressure.

 

Both kinds.  Be real about what is disagreeable, but also balance it with the good parts.  When a room of agents get together in these environments, we understand one another...we feel each other because we can relate.  Semantics are part of the right of passage...to complain about something we love.

 

Give your spouse the tools they need to relate to your job.  The pressures great and small, the difficulties that you overcome because of your gifts and talents.  The distress and the eustress.  Sales is not easy but you are gifted to handle it...

 

They should have a deep sense that you are in your element...that your contents are not under pressure!

 

Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!

Next Time: The Power of Agreement!

20/20 Vision!

Back in the early 90's I had hit the big time, gotten my series 7 license and began selling securities...

 

The firm fell under scandal and I left...hey, it wasn't me!

 

I wanted a legitimate opportunity so I went to The Rock (no, not Alcatraz...for the last time I told you I wasn't involved!)...

 

Prudential is The Rock I am referring to.

 

The first interview was a "cattle call" with over 100 people in the room.  It cleared quickly once the facilitator announced it was straight commission.

 

Been there...done that...I didn't flinch...and then there were 40!

 

In the 2nd interview I dazzled them with a stand up selling role play in front of the 39 other candidates.  I have NEVER been afraid to get up and speak...just not to girls 1:1 in high school.  Give me a break...I already explained that on Friday! 

 

And then there were 10!

 

When I got the call for the 3rd interview guess what they made me do?

 

Bring my spouse...

 

What?

 

You heard me...for 1 1/2 hours she was their main focus.  Presentations, questions about me, about life and goals.  The audacity...the unmitigated gall!

 

The sales director told us at the end of the interview that of the 1,000's of sales people they hire, the most successful were those that had supportive spouses.  So spouses were prescriptively given a deeper view of the company, the opportunity...

 

The Vision. 

 

At the end of that long night only 4 of us remained....spouses were the difference maker.

 

That is the 2nd component of the M.V.P Award that you are going to give your spouse...

 

The Vision.

 

Do you have a vision for your business?

 

It's ok if you don't, but it is not ok if you don't make one...now!

 

The vision is a blueprint of what you want your business to become, to grow and evolve to.  I know that paying bills may be the short term vision but that is not enough motivation for you...or your spouse.

 

Think sexy (got your attention right?)...go wild (just stay off the chandelier!)

 

Do you want to build an agency or call center?

 

Do you want to hire staff?

 

Do you want to become a high six-figure earner or be a 

 7-figure giant in your industry?

 

Do you want to contract with additional companies and integrate additional

lines of business into your portfolio?

  

The Vision should be compelling, energizing and support the family goals that will be largely funded through this enterprise.  The new home, the car, the kids college education are not the vision for this exercise...it is the business that will be the primary finance vehicle that is the star of this vision show...your business!

  

More importantly, The Vision should be shared...

 

"Where there is no vision...the people perish"

Proverbs 29:18

  

Marriages die from a lack of unified vision...di-vision.

 

No one can get excited about something they are not included in, or that they don't understand.  That is a lesson I learned from The Rock...

 

Oh yea, after 4 grueling interviews and 3 weeks, I got the job...

  

I didn't take it...

  

Their vision wasnt our vision....

 

We held out for 20/20 Vision...

  

Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!

Next Time: 20/20 Vision!

Show Them The Money!

The fifth week of that job was magical...

 

I sold one system.

 

Natalie and I celebrated...

  

The next week, I sold 4 systems and the week after that 8!  I outlined the process that I used to breakout on this post "Give First...Get Later .

  

We were finally out of the danger zone and into the happy zone.  I had become so used to drawing blanks that drawing a check become a new adventure...especially since they went from $0 (literally) to $800 to $1,000 to a stratospheric $2,000...in a week! 

  

Good for 2014 but really good in 1988!

 

What did we do next?

 

We had planned together on how to make the money...now we planned together on how to use the money.

 

The first component of the M.V.P Award is Money.

  

Seems simple enough, but imagine that couples fight, disagree, and divorce when they KNOW what their income and expenses are. The unpredictability of sales exacerbates the situation and the ups and downs of sales income can wreak havoc on marriages that are not built on firm foundations.

 

I am not going to play financial planner or counselor (though I did that back in the 1990's with a Larry Burkett/Dave Ramsey type radio show - ahead of it's time!) but there are a few things I present for your consideration;

 

Keep one bank account.  Unless you have more than the FDIC limit for insurability, you should pool resources.  Yes, I know some people that prefer "your money, my money" but that di-vides the household.  A house divided against each other...you know the rest. In marriage - Adding multiplies...subtracting divides.

 

Set spending limits - Create a upper limit on much each other can spend without consulting the other person.  Early in our marriage we could not make a $20 decision without a committee meeting.  As things got better it went to $50...$100 and as high as $1,000.  Funny thing.  Now that we are successful, we still discuss what we are doing with money.  It is not a game of "Mother, may I?" but just makes sure no one is "surprised" by new golf clubs or expensive purses.

 

The "B" Word - Make a Budget.  Running a household is just like running a business.  You should have projections that run at least 90 days forward.  Beyond the money in and money out equation there are a few other things that a well-balanced household budget would contain;  Giving, Saving, Investing (back into your business) and Fun.  If your budget is at a deficit then build your plan with lean living.  Focus on increase of business income as priority.  Like my mom used to tell the bill collectors, "You will get it...when I get it!"

 

Show Them The Money - The number one thing I hear when I meet spouses is that they don't understand the basics of how compensation is earned and paid.  Yes, I have worked with companies that had Black-Scholes formulas for their commission programs let alone reconciling to make sure you are paid accurately.  If you don't understand, how can you blame a spouse for their rightful concern.  Spend time showing them how you make money...the opportunities and the pitfalls.

 

There are a host of other things that I could outline but I think you get the picture.  The few things outlined are to get you started to open a sensible dialogue.  You know what your situation is and what is needed...

 

I challenge you to plant a "seed" of change that will yield a harvest of unity and peace. 

  

Matters not if you are looking for a miracle to pay your mortgage this month or closing a mortgage on a million-dollar mansion...marriage is all about openness, sharing and agreement.

 

Sharing money keeps expectations of how the family business will treat windfalls...and downfalls.  It confirms and affirms a joint understanding of how the precious commodity of money will be used to further that family enterprise.

 

Go ahead...

 

Show Them The Money!

 

Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!

Next Time: 20/20 Vision!

The M.V.P!

My first straight commission job was shortly after we bought our first house (can you say bad timing?)  I had been one of the best jewelry sales people for Service Merchandise (remember them?) but wanted the "unlimited income potential" promised in the ad for security systems.

 

They paid $200 a month for gas allowance and provided leads.  It was a reseller for a large national department store chain so leads were plentiful....but most people only wanted the promised free gift.

 

The "good leads" went to the politically connected veterans...of which I was not!  At least some people were making money...which meant I could too.

 

Those first two weeks were murder and I had not sold one system and the "call me back next week" people were not working out either.

 

I looked forward to going home to my new wife in our new home but always dreaded the first critical moments of crossing the threshold...

 

"How did it go today, honey?

 

Simple question (she was still calling me honey at least!) but I began going through my complex options mentally...

 

"Swimmingly fabulous"...(I thought to say with a British accent...no, too over the top).

 

"It was ok, Wednesdays are typically the slowest day"...(I had only worked two weeks...too early to have a credible pattern excuse).

 

I looked at her sweet supportive face and decided to go with The Truth...

 

"I have not sold my first system and the leads don't seem to be working out.  They are sending me on the wild goose chases and all the people want are the free gifts.  I had 3 no-shows out of 5 appointments today and I only have one appointment tomorrow.  I don't see how we are going to make it.  I made a mistake leaving the other job."

 

Then I did something I had not done since my dog Pooh died 2 years prior...

 

I cried.

 

Not because I thought I was a failure...not because I was getting bad leads...and not because of frustration or jealously with other peoples success...

 

I did not want to let Natalie down.

 

I know you don't want to let your spouse down either as you pursue what

you believe to be a better life for them and your family.

 

For the next hour, she rubbed my head and told me it was all going to be fine and that I was gifted and talented (hey, she forgot drop dead handsome!)...and we talked and planned the rest of the evening.

 

It was then that I realized I could not do this by myself...and that I was not in this by myself.  That year, I presented my wife with the first annual M.V.P Award.

  

It is simply sharing

 

Money - Vision - Pressure

 

Most people don't make it in sales because they can't wait out the time it takes for success to "kick in".  Most failed marriages don't last for the same reason. If your spouse has no clue of what you do for a living and more importantly, how you do what you do for a living...then it will be hard for them to be patient waiting for the "ship to come in".

 

The sharing of Money, Vision, and Pressure give them an equal stake in the journey...and the outcome.

 

Ok, Brandon, so you gave Natalie the M.V.P Award...did that really change anything.

 

It changed EVERYTHING...

 

I will admit, that for the next two weeks, I still didn't sell anything...that didn't change.

 

But each appointment, each no-show, each hour that I spent sitting in the car between appointments to save on gas...she was there with me.  The support, the belief...the faith.  I gained strength knowing we were on the same team and she was trusting me to take the game winning shot and would support me even if I missed it.

 

Four weeks of selling nothing gave me something that quick success would not have revealed.

 

And then, came the 5th week...

  

Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!

Next Time: Show Me The Money!